inspired by something he said that will always stay in my heart..I remembered it after hearing from him today he always makes me smile without even needing to say anything

lol I dunno if you remember that conversation..but this is for you..I only wish it was half descent

 

Falling Like The Stars

 

Broken bodys dive,
A fall can we survive,
Rocks in water as we sink,
We are not left with strength to think

Every stone we try to grab,
Digs in our hands and turns to stab,
So all we do is wait the ground
Life or death an answer found,

Is it but our one left chance,
To survive a last romance,
As we fly like fallen angels,
Remembering what seem now like trifles,

Clenching fists for hopes we lost,
And knowing now our hearts aren't frost,
We may be lost without a place,
But you promised as we fell from grace,

If I land first..I will try to catch you.

well i actualy managed to write something o.O which amazed myself even though it sucks..I like the chorus anyway..thats about it..oh yeh its a song *blinks a few times*

 

Yellow Butterflys

 

Rape is just a word,
And sex is just an action,
Materials make you complete,
The rest is only satisfaction,

A shattered pain that hatred sires,
Reflection every stomache churned,
Yet hollow till the coldest scream,
As mercy begged for is not earned,

Rape is just a word,
And sex is just an action,
Materials make you complete,
The rest is only satisfaction,

A blood stained grin all full of hate,
A loathing for the 'flawless',
The urge only violence can fullfill,
But most just call it madness,

Rape is just a word,
And sex is just an action,
Materials make you complete,
The rest is only satisfaction,

Stand above the corpse of love,
A dream you'll never honour,
Blind to all but self and rage,
Your already a gonner,

Rape is just a word,
And sex is just an action,
Materials make you complete,
The rest is only satisfaction.

o.O my major writers block came back...sometime last week..I still Miss Fox even though i spoke to her yesterday morning *sighs* I don't even feel like theres any point in blogging anymore but whatever *shrugs* heres a picture from deviant art that i really fell in love with it rawks!!! its of snow white and that lovely poisoned apple ^_^ you'll see why i loved it...gonna update more stuff to my goldenwolf photo album..coz i loves her work sooo much <3

 

 

 

 Love my new haircut..got yelled abuse at by three GROUPS of people on my way home..so thats a good sign..

 

and in the spirit of drinking too much..here is a story i wrote a while back

 

NOTE!!


This was not a stab at alcoholism..or even a summary of it, this is about one man's condition and not an attempt to stereotype, alcoholism effects those that suffer it each in differing ways. The "type" of "drunk" described here is the most commenly associated image with the word alcoholism or alcoholic..This is not the case..all alcoholics are not like this..do not judge the term alcoholic by what i have written..thank you. Love my new haircut..got yelled abuse at by three GROUPS of people on my way home..so thats a good sign..

 

 

 

He wakes on the grave of another,
Pushing his body up off the concrete tomb,
As he rises frost drops from his tall thin frame,
His head pulses in agony as he stumbles from the church yard,


He sways on his feet at the gate,
His brow furrows as he tries to focus on the pub across the road,
It is closed so he staggers on along the pavement,
Swearing at every set of headlights that traverse past him in the blue murk,
Fog rolling at his sides he leers up as the lamposts flicker off,

He continues with his dizzied march,
Knocking bins over and falling through the hedgerows,

Hitting a phone booth he falls into the gutter,
The newly risen sun now burns his eyes,
Blotched red with bloodshots,

He grunts incoherently before passing out,
His head now slumped on his filthy vomit stained shirt,

The world awakens and he makes no attempt to rise,
Men women and children begin to pass him as the morning life stirrs,
Most look down in discust,
Others pity,
Some drop loose change to his feet, thats his next drink bought.

Hah, my blog yesterday might have seemed like a childish outburst, fact is it probably was. I don't care I thought it was funny..

 

I've managed to persuade Mum to put the hospitol apointment off, by a year. I wouldn't have gone either way but at least this way there is no argument and no screaming, oh and i meant screaming on her part, I don't scream, or argue with her, its futile and pointless, even if you where to attempt to convey your points in an adult manner she wouldn't listen or even remotely aknowledge them, thus pointless. Anyway so thats good news, why you ask? I'll tell you, because next year I will be 18 and I can refuse to go myself. I have reasons for this, if you want them, you can ask me and if i please i will tell you, fact is i don't owe you the explination, but being myself I'm likely to just tell anyone whome asks.

 

Having a haircut today o.O ~{BE FASCINATED AND AFRAID}~ hehehehe -_-''''' i have no idea how its going to turn out...hopefully with my head intact, afterall..last time they poured hot water down my back and hit me round the head with a hairdryer, by accident...i hope.

 

I said I would go to college at lunch time...but i really needed to tiday my room..a couple of decades ago *shrugs* I'm not sure what I'll do..but right now, clothing is required, as this towel is getting cold.

 

By the way..I'm not trying to sound intelligent..i know damn well I am not XP

Lets just get a few things straite ok..

 

I couldn't care less whether you think I have mental problems or not, as a fact I know i probably do.

 

I don't expect descency or respect from anyone in this world, infact i expect to be treated with cruelty and resentment. Anything else is a nice suprise.

 

If you have a problem with me or anythin i say or do, just remember, it is your problem not mine, by all means blame me for it, but it stemmed from your intolerance and arogance.

If I've said something that offends you, I will probably have stated prior, oh by the way this is offensive so you shouldn't pay attention.

 

I'm constantly telling people just to ignore me and leave me to spout nonsense, but even by reading this you are ignoring those warnings, so don't blame me for the fact that you read something you didn't like, I didn't make you, contrary I advise not to.

Burning out the sun

 

Winter breathing, crawling, writhing,

Slipping under pale skin,

Your velvet touch,

Burnt so much

Lies bleed the silence,

Last call for penance,

Forget selfish sanctum,

Only chance of freedom,

 

Again spinning,

Again sinning.

Running On Empty

 

When I'm running on empty,

And theres holes between these lines,

Because I'm running on empty,

Trying to carry ourselfs across sands of time,

 

I'll be running on empty,

Unable to walk these thin white lines,

Its just running on empty,

Alone as always to travel time,

 

Still I'm running on empty,

Forever be watching behind the lines,

Its when your running on empty,

That you realise theres no end to time.

Liam...And Carl..and any other Link fan whome i offended I am sorry..I have edited the offensive part of my prior statement about him..I just love the pisstake movie soooo much!!! and Link is so sweet and funny..I am sorry..I hope you have no further problems with what i have written..and if you do just let me know xoxoxo

Two rather shitty poems form the arms of a seriouse mental disorder..what it struck me that that would be a clever thing to say..no..oki well whatever anyway.

 

 

 

When They Waited

 

Wasted lies

Breathing blackness smog and hate,

You were drawn so far, so gone,

Holding vague hopes as close as coldness,

Flames tasting naked pain,

As tears are turning down the corpses

Embalmed with only bitter hate.

 

Rebirth

 

A broken shell,

Laying, hollow, dormant,

Mere skin shedded,

Or prison,

Cell broken in frenzied panick,

For life,

For breath to claim your own.

 

 

Anyway don't expect miracles in the writing area..Fox is gone..and so is my inspiration..anyway can't wait till she comes back...which WILL happen eventualy and i do understand why she is gone..i just love her so much and she will always be in my heart!! so heres a picture of a black Fox so everyone can look of it and think of her XP

 

 

Well I just added two more photo's to my old album and created a new one full of pictures sent to me by my wunderfull fwend Rikka!! Wuv Yuh!!! they are by an artist named GoldenWolf and as you can see they are magnifisent..these are my favorite kinds of drawings..Rikka said the oneentitledWatcher reminds her of me ^_^

 

Probably because of Shadow and Rain inspiring me to make Rifter my RavenWolf anthro XP

 

 

 

Got mugged today..bike was taken..it was only just over a month old..fuck it all i have no reason to give random strangers details..I'm so fucking tired and ill from it though..and fucked be damned i've had it no more bikes for me not for a long time..they just keep getting stollen

No I have no idea what I'm talking about I have'nt written in ages leave me alone

 

Shadows On A Broken Mirror

 

We call into the catalist,

A stale with the look of fresh,

Are we of some vagrant time,

Or is life of much more than flesh,

 

It doesn't matter anyway,

As bitter blood still flows,

And all that we can truly ask,

Is what we'll never know,

 

They can sing our praises down,

Or lift our hopes on high,

Malevolence a new manipulation,

Our rivers running dry.

 

Like in war..when your comrades fall..you have to leave them..keep fighting..if you try to carry them with you you will also fall..

 

I wish i could say that I'll carry my dead..I wish..but i don't i carry on and i seek and carry the wounded and I try so hard to help others..people who still have hope..because if i stop..if i think..if i don't push everything away again..it all becomes real again..

 

Nothing with me is real..i don't let anything be real..i live in my head and i hide and my body has become this shell..the armor for others..battered but still holding out..

 

Stupid thing is I'm never gonna move on..not untill i let go..coz i haven't..all i've done is push everything to the back of my mind..

 

I'm going to die on this battlefield..theres no one to save me because i wont let them..Funny really..the war is long over but I'm still fighting..left standing..alone..in some stupid pathetic mental battle thats killing me slowly..and i wont let myself out..

 

But whatever yknow..

omg yesterday morning you should have seen the blood..MASSIVE nose bleed..lasted over an hour..both nostrils!! it was so horrid i swallowed soo much blood i'm lucky i wasn't sick..but i dont get sick..well not unless i drink shampoo..anyway..yeh it was so wrong just when i..hang on Sonni is biting me..grr she is such ahhbfn sorry paw on keyboard bitch..technicly anyway XP umm where was i heh..umm..oh yeh just when i thought it had stopped this massive clot slipped out and we messured it at 7cm 3mm which is nothing coz i remember once when we were really little i musta been around five coz i dont remember much but Matt had one which he ended up in hospitol with and he had this unending clot all i remember is seeing it from the doorway while mum n dad sat with him it just kep coming and coming..so anyway now that i've discusted everyone..it made me an hour late for work..but for some reason work was great!! we weren't in our normal mad rush and i finished ten minutes early compared to my normal ten minutes late..it was like me an Mike became clockworked o.O and he let me play all my cds..when he said he was bringin a cd player i thought it would be one of mine one of his but he just said play all mine..we only listened to one of his..but it was by his chioce XD i listened the used first..then mudvayne..linkin park..him..his cd..garbage..evanesence..and then most of my korn one..which i found underneth my evanesence cd and i had time to phone Matt and say omg i found it you can borrow it now..and he told me he had sorted the comp in my room..so i now have my computor in my room..how aces is that XD

It took me over half an hour to change th bed sheets *glares at bed* why is it soo big!! especialy turning the matress its imposible *mimics being crushed by matress* mum had some *shock horror* good news for me..Jon isnt working tomora Micheal is so im kinda off the hook..problem..my arms..Jon is so up himslef he would have been less likely to notice..but Micheal will for sure *cries* i normaly control it to under my bangles but i went nuts all round and all over my arms top bottom wrists back of my hands *curls up and cries* i dunno it just came over me *whimpers* im frikin doomed *cries*

Oki so today is kinda funny..Dad keeps showing up..and hes seen me twice..but i still ran away and din't answer even though he knows im in here..XD Tomorow i have work..Which wouldn't be so bad if i hadn't have maybe kind of trashed the kitchen last week..Jon deserved it what he said about Albert..he can fucking rot..anyway i just took some really bad photos of Sonni (Sony) so enjoy my bad photography..oh screw this i just got a letter and my frikin kidney referal is 20th March..after what happened last time they can dream on i am not going!!

 

 

oh bugger it wont let me upload the photos..screw it *sulks* XP

 

Children of Bodom..one of my latest fave bands..lol..so yeh just some lyrics coz i have nothing worth saying

 

 

Mask Of Sanity - Children Of Bodom

 

I can't waste away, I'm slowly losing my way forever
Better raise your slave for me anymore
Daylight's sin inside, day's growing closer, wait for pain
I cannot wait another night to be alone

Voices are calling me, 'be my night!' this devil's sigh
Yeah, shadows are tainting me, yeah,
I know that only you can render pain

Peace of mind, you run away from me
So make me lose my mask of sanity

I can't waste away, I'm slowly getting my way forever
Better is what I used to feel alone
Shattered light's sin in taint, day's growing longer, wait for pain
I cannot wait another night to be with you

Peace of mind, you run away from me
So make me lose my mask of sanity

Peace of mind, you run away from me
So make me lose my mask of sanity

I have no right to comment on him